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19 Nov 2017, 15:22 [ UTC - 5; DST ]


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 13 Oct 2017, 21:20 
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Location: (West of) St Louis, MO KUUV
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Username Protected wrote:

I THINK .......

Attachment:
File Oct 13, 2 35 16 PM.jpeg


Is one not in the hand worth two not in the bush?


Dunno if we're allowed to see a photo of that :eek:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 13 Oct 2017, 21:25 
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Location: (West of) St Louis, MO KUUV
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Rarely seen...


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 13 Oct 2017, 21:53 
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Location: Palos Verdes, CA (KTOA)
Aircraft: 1979 Bonanza A36TN
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.

The first Catholic man said, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'"

The second Catholic man chirped, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace!'"

The third Catholic gent said, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence!'"

The fourth Catholic man said very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness!'"

The lone Catholic woman kept sipping her coffee in silence. One of the men gave her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replied, "I have a daughter, slim and tall, 40D bust, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "'JESUS! "'


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 13 Oct 2017, 23:42 
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Company: Corporate Air Technology
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Username Protected wrote:
Rarely seen...


Sorry, Nessy looks like a Cheyenne, no T tailed Beech with square windows, Nessey is an Indian.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 14 Oct 2017, 16:00 
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Company: Danamike General Builders, Inc
Location: Granger, Indiana (3C1)
Aircraft: 77 A36 Bonanza N80RC
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas ..

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue," she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 14 Oct 2017, 19:06 
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Location: Norwood, NC KVUJ
Aircraft: Bonanza E35 N3247C
There was a young man
From Cork who got limericks
An haikus confused

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I am often offered change after giving my two cents worth. hmmmmm


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 14 Oct 2017, 21:00 
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Joined: 06/13/11
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Location: South Texas
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Username Protected wrote:
Rarely seen...


Sorry, Nessy looks like a Cheyenne, no T tailed Beech with square windows, Nessey is an Indian.

https://aviation-safety.net/wikibase/wiki.php?id=186118

Yep
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Mark Shilling
Pleasanton, TX


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 14 Oct 2017, 21:55 
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Username Protected wrote:
Sorry, Nessy looks like a Cheyenne, no T tailed Beech with square windows, Nessey is an Indian.

https://aviation-safety.net/wikibase/wiki.php?id=186118

Yep


Yeah, but "The Loch Ness Piper" is a drunken Scotsman. You should hear him pump out Scotland The Brave after he's had a few....

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 14 Oct 2017, 23:54 
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Joined: 01/07/08
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Location: Columbus, OH (4I3)
Aircraft: 1957 Twin Bonanza
True story.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 15 Oct 2017, 09:56 
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Location: Benton Harbor, MI (KBEH)
Aircraft: 1958 Bonanza J35
And the KC-135 will probably refuel the last B-52 going to the graveyard before heading to depot for the block 60 upgrade.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 15 Oct 2017, 22:40 
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Location: Lawrenceville, GA (KLZU)
Kids are always trying to find a way to cheat the system.

A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy O’Shaughnessy?”

‘Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father.

I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Tommy, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Lisa O’Shanter?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Cathy O’Dell?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Fiona Mallory?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Brenda O’Malley, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight-lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned, and you have to atone. You can no longer be an altar boy until 4 months have passed. Now you go and behave yourself.”

“Yes, Father.”

Tommy walks back to his pew, and his friend Sean slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“Four months vacation and five good leads!”


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2017, 21:05 
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Company: Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems
Location: Stow, MA (6B6)
Aircraft: 1991 Bonanza A36
Username Protected wrote:
This one is for you Doc.....
....
....
I was fired from the keyboard factory today.
I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.


That one was Capital!

You've certainly found the keys to my sense of humor!

Doc


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2017, 21:11 
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Joined: 12/12/07
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Company: Stonehouse Supply,Inc.
Location: Wellington-Palm Beach, Florida
Aircraft: Van's RV-14A
Attachment:
cat one approach.jpg


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2017, 22:15 
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Aircraft: Cessna 172
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_8mdH20qTQ


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2017, 23:19 
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Joined: 12/26/08
Posts: 2644
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Location: --------- Charlotte, NC (KEQY) Alva, OK (KAVK)
Aircraft: 1970 Bonanza A36TN
Username Protected wrote:
Attachment:
cat one approach.jpg

Yikes - if that thing isn't de-clawed it is a potential nightmare.

There was a story a few years ago of a family flying with one of those uncaged. Went berserk during the flight and the lineman that met the flight when it landed said it looked like a hatchet murder had occurred inside the plane. I looked for the link but can't find it now. Previously posted here I think.


Last edited on 16 Oct 2017, 23:47, edited 1 time in total.

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