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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 08 Oct 2017, 12:37 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 08 Oct 2017, 14:30 
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Company: Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems
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A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where's the bar tender?"


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2017, 10:32 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2017, 15:42 
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I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2017, 17:19 
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Location: Palos Verdes, CA (KTOA)
Aircraft: 1979 Bonanza A36TN
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients, when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it a gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists were watching from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting to Catholic."


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2017, 22:01 
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Location: (West of) St Louis, MO KUUV
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Username Protected wrote:
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients, when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it a gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists were watching from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting to Catholic."


Another punch line, as told by a passer by: Sister, now that's faith!


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 09 Oct 2017, 23:15 
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Location: --------- Charlotte, NC (KEQY) Alva, OK (KAVK)
Aircraft: 1970 Bonanza A36TN
Username Protected wrote:
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients, when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it a gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists were watching from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting to Catholic."

This one took me a very, very long time to get. Someday I really should convert. Just have to figure out the 'to'...

LOL and +1!


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 10 Oct 2017, 05:04 
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Location: Lawrenceville, GA (KLZU)
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2017, 07:38 
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I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2017, 09:28 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2017, 11:06 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2017, 12:03 
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Joined: 12/15/07
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Location: Corpus Christi, Tx
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:rofl: :lol: ...
:scratch: :shrug: :crazy: ...
:bugeye: ...
:sad:

Dan :popcorn:


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 11 Oct 2017, 14:55 
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OK, that's a pretty good one.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 12 Oct 2017, 05:21 
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Location: Lawrenceville, GA (KLZU)
A German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!" says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther.....So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

*Moral of this story...*

1. Don't mess with old dogs.

2. Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery.

3. BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes - Master Thread
PostPosted: 12 Oct 2017, 07:04 
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Company: Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems
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Aircraft: 1991 Bonanza A36
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.


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